just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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