Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
