I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
soo... how was my night?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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