I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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