No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
