ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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