Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
