dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
