My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
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