And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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