Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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