Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
