You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
