Please, let me fuck your mom
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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