my vag is so smooth its legendary
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
