I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize