Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
