Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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