already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Randomize
