I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
