is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
