clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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