omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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