How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
