I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
