just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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