he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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