If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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