i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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