My Higher Power is John Stamos
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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