at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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