If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He kissed a someone with a penis
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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