Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
