Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I have aggressive nipples.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
