Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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