He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
