And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
