I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
