mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
