Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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