i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
