i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
