So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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