never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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