How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize