You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
