If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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