Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
