five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
birth control should be required to get into college
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Randomize
