I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
