I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
