the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
