Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
as a side note pls kill me
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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