So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
