happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
