I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
