Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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