Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
