hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
