Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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