I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
