he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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