its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
